I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize