so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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