Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You pole danced in your parka.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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