if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
