Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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