I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
