Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
