i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
