so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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