ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize