I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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