And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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