Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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