i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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