Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
