To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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