I accidentally burped into my bong.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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