OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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