): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
