onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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