Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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