I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
