I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
