So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he puts the penis in happiness.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
