Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize