Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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