I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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