Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
