we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i think i just lost a toe
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
