Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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