no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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