Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
