I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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