The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You can't just leave with hair like that
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
