i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
