if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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