Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
