Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
