awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
