Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.