I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.