It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..