a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
