Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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