North Korea, Best Korea!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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