Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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