O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
