She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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