i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
