Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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