so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
