DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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