But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
