I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
