I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
