Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
