Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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