it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
PANTIES FOUND
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