Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
