Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
