We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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