He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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